The most unflattering me... A healthy dose of realism?.. Why am I doing this?

So, you know how you think you really don't look all that bad & then you see the photos that convince you otherwise? Here is a photo of me back in January 2009 when we had Justin's kids up over the Christmas holidays. It really wasn't till I saw this photo that I realised that my body really wasn't that flattering anymore... also what was I thinking with blonde hair... hmmm?

So in 2009 I decided to loose weight & I had toyed with the idea of weight watchers & finally in April decided to do it. My heaviest weight was 97.3.

I remember back in high school having a friend who came in one day & said that she was now 70kilos & thinking, "I never want to be that heavy"... A few weeks later I weighed myself & was 69.5... well I immediately adjusted my eating style & started exercising & did drop weight Not sure what I got to but I would assume low end 60's would be about right.. I know that I was about a size 10-12. By the time I was 19 I know I was up at 86.5 which was when I moved to Brisbane & started working in childcare. Being so active, the weight dropped off & I was again a size 10-12. Fast forward to now I am 26 years old. I went through a marriage break up & am in a very happy relationship with my beautiful man Justin but again the weight has crept on. I also am back in a sedentary job (call centre - shift work)

So back to the weight watchers journey that I started last year. I went ok for about 2 months & lost 5 kilos. I then thought I could go it alone & cancelled my subscription. I pretty much maintained but the weight slowly started to creep back, so in January this year I realised I couldn't do it myself & went back. I was back to 94.7

I guess what this has taught me is that unless I keep at it constantly, I am not going to loose this weight & I can't ever get complacent about it or it will come back & judging by past history, it always comes back with an extra 15 kilos. I don't want to wake up & be 110 kilos one day. At my heaviest I remember lying on my back in bed & feeling so restricted like I had a weight pressing down on my chest making it harder for me to breathe, I don't have that any more but I do still have sore knees whish I am guessing is from the huge amount of weight that I carry from my thighs (thanks mum). I also want to be a positive role model for Justin's girls who are entering their teenage years & already learning that kids at school can be cruel with taunts about weight.

Today I am going to take my measurements & I will post these later.. today I will also do some exercise because I haven't done it in at least 2 weeks & I need to pull my head back in before I think I look good ... hmm maybe I need another photo taken of me so that I realise i'm not there yet & still need to keep working at it.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings

xox